


I'm Bound To Choke (When I Close My Eyes I See Your Ghost)

by kycantina



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: I couldn't bring myself to give hux the death he deserves, M/M, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, fix-it i guess, so i didn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:09:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21898684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kycantina/pseuds/kycantina
Summary: Armitage Hux isn’t going to die a hero.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	I'm Bound To Choke (When I Close My Eyes I See Your Ghost)

Armitage Hux isn’t going to die a hero, he realizes this at the same time as he realizes that the blood on his fingertips is  _ his _ and how horribly  _ wrong _ it’s all gone, and just how much he’d seen it coming. He wishes Ren were here right now, he’d love this, revel in it. They’d been like this, biting at each other’s ankles and kissing away the blood ever since Snoke, ever since Kylo had made it abundantly clear that they weren’t to be together through any of it, not through Palpatine, not as lovers, not as equals. Hux was to be seen and not heard, a faceless voice of reason, a shining beacon on the bridge, on command. (Seen and not heard, Hux remembers laughing at the notion, remembers the calluses of Kylo’s fingers against his lips, taking his breath away time and again. It had been cute then, sexy even. The gimic hadn’t aged well). 

Hux laughs, hollow and numb. Maybe he’d mourn, maybe there would be Arkanis orchids and a full procession, a twenty-one gun salute and Ren, draped like a snivelling child over his coffin (it’s amusing, and enough of a fantasy to keep Hux comfortable in his last moments, his breath swinging like a pendulum). Armitage doesn’t kid himself, he imagines blowing to pieces with the rest of the First Order, that would show him. “This is why we can’t have nice things,” He’d chide from whatever  _ great beyond _ he was destined for, “It would’ve never happened under  _ my _ watch.” An occasional fuck, that’s all he’d been good for to Ren. Kylo won’t notice he’s gone until their next staff meeting, set four days from now. Hux had written it in the planner he’d gotten Kylo as both an  _ I-hate-that-you-can’t-trust-me-even-though-I’d-tear-down-the-galaxy-for-you _ present, in tandem with their eleven-month anniversary (something that only Hux had kept track of. It didn’t matter now, they wouldn’t be around to reach twelve). 

So what if Kylo Ren didn’t know what Hux’s parents had done for a living, or his middle name, or his favorite type of tea (the only things Ren  _ did _ know about Armitage were the way he shivered when he was kissed in the right places, the way his back arched like a cat’s when he got what he wanted), so what if he wasn’t there to watch Hux bleed out on the floor of his own ship. So what if he wasn’t there to hold him, to kiss his hair as he wished the wound closed and whisper that Hux would be okay, that he knew it hurt and that he was  _ here _ (more likely, Kylo would’ve said something along the lines of  _ “I told you so” _ , and spit on him as Hux lay dying, ever the gentleman). So what if Ren wasn’t there? Hux’s men weren’t there to liberate him, neither was the Resistance. 

Armitage Hux isn’t going to die a hero, and he wasn’t going to leave any witnesses either, apparently. But only because he isn’t going to die in the first place. Kylo arrives soon enough, armed with bacta packs instead of his saber. He’s somewhere between betrayal and a shade of concern Hux can’t remember ever seeing on him. He’s sure he’s hallucinating, weary and pale with the blood that’s soaked through his uniform (if Armitage were any more lucid, he’d be throwing a fit about how he’d never get the stain out, how the blood,  _ his _ blood on the floor is a safety concern, and how maintenance needed to attend to it immediately, damn whatever Ren would say about it). Kylo bites his lip, clearly holding back from whatever he felt the need to share. Hux rolls his eyes, he’s allowed to ignore Ren’s impending tantrum, just this once. “I love you.” He mutters, voice bitter. So what if it wasn’t true, it would make nice last words, memorable, even. 

“I know.” Is all Kylo can bring himself to say back.


End file.
